Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.

“The Truth”

You said,
I dont do this for nothing.
And you said,
We have to see where it leads.
You said,
You and I could be something.
And you said,
This is more than what we need.

You said,
I may see you in my future.
And you said,
We have to wait and see.
You said,
We have to let this mature.
And you said,
This is more than what we need.

But the truth is hard to see,
When I look into your eyes.
And the truth is so easy,
When I lie between your thighs.
And the truth is make believe,
Surrounded by so many lies.

But the Truth it never dies.
The Truth it never dies.

You said,
I cant do this when youre not here.
And you said,
I just need some room to breathe.
You said,
I have to learn to face my fears.
And you said,
This is nothing that we need.

But the truth is hard to see,
When I look into your eyes.
And the truth is so easy,
When I lie between your thighs.
And the truth is make believe,
Surrounded by so many lies.

But the Truth it never dies.
The Truth it never dies.

“All You’ve Left Me With Are Tears”

You had me fooled
I wasnt nothing but your tool.
Lying round to use
On these lazy afternoons

Try as I might,
I cant give up this fight.
With no end in sight,
Its hard to make it through the night.

Your silence says more than words can say
I knew I had lost you when you turned and walked away.

You made me feel,
Better than I had in years.
But I’m afraid my dear,
All you’ve left me with are tears.

You had me fooled
I wasnt nothing but your tool.
Lying round to use
On these lazy afternoons

Your silence says more than words can say
I knew I had lost you when you turned and walked away.
Your silence says more than words can say
I knew I had lost you when you turned and walked away.

“The Wrong Time”

Was this time all wasted?
Yours were the sweetest lips I’d ever tasted.
Please tell me that you felt the same.
I hate the thought that this was just a game.
Just a game for you to play and then put away.
Dont leave me on the shelf, away from the light of day.

I would have kissed you a million times.
Sang you a thousand lines,
Wrote you a hundred rhymes,
But they would all have come, at the Wrong Time.

Your smile is burned into my brain.
I think about you each and every day.
You blew a kiss and you walked away.
Although it hurt I knew you couldnt stay.
Couldnt stay and be with me til eternity.
So I wait here patiently, for you to return to me.

I would have kissed you a million times.
Sang you a thousand lines,
Wrote you a hundred rhymes,
But they would all have come, at the Wrong Time.

Who the hell do you think you are?
To question how I spend my days.
You lost the right to care for me when you turned and walked away.
And now I know I’m better off,
Than if you would have stayed.
Cause I can find myself again,
Now that we’ve parted ways.

I may have been a fool,
But I’m not your clown.
And your time is gonna come, when it all comes back around.
So dont come crawling back,
When he puts you down.
Keep your head above the waves,
Or in your tears you’ll drown.

The love I had inside for you,
Quietly now is fading.
I’ve cried some tears of my own,
But not enough for wading.
I’ll find another to love,
And when in the dark we’re lying,
I’ll say a prayer for your stone cold heart.
You can’t fault a man for trying.

I have kept a journal for the past few years that I write down bits of randomness, poetry, lyrics and things that I need to sort through. I was going through it the past few weeks and just kinda taking stock of the last few years of my life. So I think I am going to share a few of them with you. The next few posts will be from my journal. I hope you find them insightful, if not always enjoyable.

I wish I could let someone else say what I have to say, cause Jeff Buckley says it better. There’s a lot I want to say, and tell you, but it escapes me everytime I think of the right way. I wish I could escape this feeling, this awkwardness, this waiting. I wish I could just turn it all off, as if there were a switch. But unfortunately there isnt. It isnt as if my life isn’t wonderful, but pieces are missing. It’s like a beautiful puzzle with a few lost key pieces. The Mona Lisa without her smile….

Maybe Bob Dylan says it best:

Perhaps it’s the color of the sun cut flat
An’ cov’rin’ the crossroads I’m standing at,
Or maybe it’s the weather or something like that,
But mama, you been on my mind.

I don’t mean trouble, please don’t put me down or get upset,
I am not pleadin’ or sayin’, “I can’t forget.”
I do not walk the floor bowed down an’ bent, but yet,
Mama, you been on my mind.

Even though my mind is hazy an’ my thoughts they might be narrow,
Where you been don’t bother me nor bring me down in sorrow.
It don’t even matter to me where you’re wakin’ up tomorrow,
But mama, you’re just on my mind.

I am not askin’ you to say words like “yes” or “no,”
Please understand me, I got no place for you t’ go.
I’m just breathin’ to myself, pretendin’ not that I don’t know,
Mama, you been on my mind.

When you wake up in the mornin’, baby, look inside your mirror.
You know I won’t be next to you, you know I won’t be near.
I’d just be curious to know if you can see yourself as clear
As someone who has had you on his mind.

I havent posted a good entry in a while, and there are a few reason for that. First being that I no longer have the internet at work, which sucks…BAD. I cant check any e mail except for my work mail. No websites, at all. I can access the Google search page,but nothing that actually comes up on a search. This has been done to apparently make us more productive, but it really has just made everyone more frustrated. I see this as a step backwards, but I dont make the rules.
The second reason is I havent really had anything to write about. It seems that my life in the past 2 years has been in a state of rebuilding, which is understandable considering the circumstances, but Im due for it to be finished, right? Well, I have been doing exactly what I have needed lately; laying low, working, saving and getting stable. Now that I am feeling that level of stability, I think it s time to get back to the plan again. The plan I speak of is playing music. It’s been a long time since the band has played together, until last night. My good friend Emiliano put together a show highlighting some artists, and also to promote his new joint, The Quickeners.( www.myspace.com/thequickeners) Even with not playing together in months, the band laid it down,HARD! It made me realize how much I really do miss playing live music.
So my goal in the next few months is this: put together a steady practice schedule. Get some shows together. Record an EP. Take over the world.
Hold me to it!

So, just a quick post to introduce you to a couple of new things in my life; my afformentioned new hair- and my newly aquired acoustic/electric guitar. Enjoy!

http://s62.photobucket.com/albums/h97/pparrish11679/?action=view&current=bbq3.jpg

Have you ever been surrounded by tons of amazing people that you absolutly love and yet felt so alone? I have felt like this for a long time now.

I have really been digging Andrew Bird lately. He is from Chicago originally, and is now a nationwide act. Check out Armchair Apocrypha.

I heard The White Stripes new album, Icky Thump. There are a lot of tunes on it that I really dig, and some that they really tried to get a little experimental. The main problem that I have is that some of these tunes seem a little forced. I like it when there are elements of different musical styles within a song, when it is thrown in as a little out of the ordinary- something to throw you off a little. But thats not how these songs are. I’m just not sure how I feel about Jack White playing Irish Jigs, and African Influenced tunes. Now, I will never fault someone for expanding their musical horizons, but for some reason it doesnt work for me in this context. What does work is when he sticks to good old riff-rock. It is almost magical.You can hear the Zepplin in his writing and playing. He is doing his homework, and love it.

I went to see Live Free or Die Hard last night with my main man Mike C, and I gotta tell you, I thought it was a great flick. There were great action sequences, all the dry humor you expect out of John McClain, and a plot that includes a member of McClains family being threatened, of course. And to top it off, most of the action sequences were shot in a way that didnt seem cliche, and even my un-trained eye was like, wow, that really seemed unique! Obviously it’s not going to win awards, but it accomplished it’s goal; it entertained.

I am going to see the band Tortoise at The Metro on sunday. I am really intrigued to see them. I have seen their guitarist, Jeff Parker, play with the Deep Blue Organ Trio at The Green Mill, and am very curious to see how he plays in an experimentalavantgardeindierockjazz setting.

Currently listening : TNT By Tortoise Release date: 12:00 AM